This is a tough one to broach with any diagnosis, from personal experience the more honest the better in the long run. I have worked in healthcare for 11 years now and have seen a range of families that think they can brush it under the carpet and deny anything is wrong. This in itself is wrong on so many levels, it may help you but down the line when there are more frank and honest discussions as adulthood is reached in clinic appointments which will be lifelong and eventually reveal the reasons behind the visits, you are then risking a very shocking realization that they have been lied to by someone they most trusted for all their life which alongside a diagnosis shock revelation is a huge aspect to come to terms with. Not only that but if you cant come to terms enough to discuss it with them (which is better than second hand information reaching the young lady) then how are you then going to help them in coping with the facts they are going to deal with along the way?.
My parents have never hidden then fact from me they have always allowed me to question and explained at a level that is appropriate to me as I grew. This I feel is the best way if you have the luxury to do so (as in birth diagnosis). By doing so I have had a lifetime to process and manage my diagnosis and as I have understood it I have been able to develop my own knowledge and understanding and by doing so found acceptance in this and met some absolutely wonderful people along the way.
The best thing I feel that can come of this is that they find answers in their own questions but then have the support and guidance in yourself to process and accept this when needed.
My parents have never treated me any differently, they certainly haven’t wrapped me up in cotton wool. This normality has enabled me to create the thick skin and positive attitude that I have today as with most butterflies I have had to take rough with smooth in making friends, learning in school etc however, with the parents being as they are me having had the correct support and role modelling to not act differently, in turn has allowed the people around me to best understand how I need to be supported and treated in the outside world.
If you allow the butterflies to grow as they should you will see how strong courageous and amazing their character really is and actually they will teach you so much about how people should be, I haven’t met a butterfly yet that hasn’t had a very strong determination and thirst for life and what it has to offer.
To finish up i think the worst part is the fear of doing and actually if you broach it as you go along and just support they guide you and take alot more in their stride than you would ever hope, you just need to be there when its needed. You don’t have to be worried just take that leap of faith the rest will work out, being a parent doesn’t have a guide book and nor does this all you can do is attack it with everything you have and let yourself to not be determined by it but embrace it.